conversation

I've been blessed with an abundance of quality conversation with people from all walks of life lately. I feel like God has been sharing His heart through--hang on, got to go kill a fire ant before he attacks me--

Ok, let's try this again.

I feel like God has been sharing His character and heart though these people. The conversation has been so rich, insightful, encouraging, and thought-provoking... I'm still trying to absorb and process all that has been invested into me over the past week.

I wish I could share all that was discussed, but I feel as if I would do an injustice...

I met a man from Mexico, Eddie, that shared his story with me--in somewhat broken english-- but I was so intrigued by his experiences, the differences, the struggles, and the cultural barriers he is facing now in America... but most of all I was encouraged by his faith and trust that God will see him through all those things. It was such an invaluable time that renewed my heart for "every tribe, tongue, and nation."


Another friend of mine was talking about expectations. And so simply put, "expectations destroy relationships". We have both found that to be very true in our life. That is helping me learn to hope in God and not man, and take things as they come and not just what they might be or could be, and especially what we wish or hope someone to be. I have learned a lot of hard lessons from that over the years. (Thanks, Jonathan, for those--and many other--words)


I met a woman in her mid-thirties when I was working with Habitat, she said that her friend was teasing her because "I went to a male strip club, and he doesn't think that women should do that. Guys do it, so why should it be any different for a girl?"

I was politely silent.

And then I kept thinking about it... and obviously not because I would be interested in going to a strip joint--ever-- nor do I approve of it or think Christ sees that as a honorable decision.
No, I kept thinking about it because I wonder if that was a nudge from the Holy Spirit--a "cue" if you will-- to take the conversation another direction, talk about her life, see where she is spiritually, invest into her.

But I was silent because I felt like I was sailing into uncharted and unfamiliar waters and wasn't sure how to approach that topic without sounding judgmental. In other words--I was afraid to offend. I was insecure. I was looking at my own inadequacies instead of allowing God to speak through me.

Is it ok to be silent at times? Sure. But a timely word spoken can refresh and heal... and I feel like I just watched her sail right past me in those waters--maybe never to be seen again... and where was her boat headed? I may never know.

If I should regret anything--even though I rarely have regrets because God is gracious--I regret opportunities lost because I was afraid.

I remember a few years back how sensitive I was to hearing from God about little things like that. Not that I always was obedient, or that I had it all figured out. And there are definitely times, more recently, where I feel like I blow right past those things without even hardly stopping to think sometimes.

I don't quiet myself or look as hard as I could/should. I need to start looking for those windows, the nudges (or shoves), the opportunities, listening closely to what is really being said and not just what people say.

And let my fear be transformed into an inner peace and an outward love, which can only be done through Christ.